I was always geared to be the best at everything that I did. If I didn’t have the skills, then I would do the best to learn how to get them, and if I wasn’t great at something right away, then I would try to learn how to be better. However, there were a few cases where I was upset when someone else did better than I did.
I remember being in grade school and having the instruction from the teacher to write my own book. Every kid was to write their book and then, we were all supposed to illustrate it, so she could staple it together and we could bring it home to our families. I worked hard on this, and I had a lot of practice at drawing and coloring, so I was sure that I was going to do pretty well with this task. I took my time and got my book together, and then when it was finished, I showed the teacher.
The teacher liked my book, but she also liked the book that the girl across the table had created. I looked over at the other girl’s work, and I was astounded by how good it was. The pictures were nearly perfect. It was as if a professional had come in and illustrated it for her. Her story made sense. It was indeed a very good book, and I was ashamed by my own work, knowing that there was no way my book could compare to hers. I hung my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong with this project and sulked in my own self-pity.
Then, when I was a little bit older, I found myself in competition with two other students for the title of valedictorian. I studied night and day. I found a study group that could help me with my math, and I did my best to answer every midterm and final to the best of my ability. The race was tight, and up until the last two years of high school, I had the title in the palm of my hand. However, now that there were two other competitors, I knew that I had to do better.
There was one last exam. It was an English exam, and though I did well in this class, I knew that I wasn’t perfect. I also knew that if I didn’t do better than the other two students, I was going to lose the chance at representing my class as the valedictorian. This was a sad realization as the only thing people had identified me in high school with was my intelligence. I wasn’t the fastest person or the best looking person. I wasn’t even the most charismatic person. I was the smart kid, so if I didn’t get this title, it was as if my entire identity would be lost.
We all took our English tests and the results came back. The teacher marked my grade one grade lower than one of the girls I was competing with. Then, I found out that the boy that was also competing got a better grade too. I was now in third place for the title, and I knew that there was no chance that I would be able to represent my class at this point. I was just an average joe with good grades. This upset me significantly.
Then, when I was in the military, I applied to be a squadron leader. I wanted so badly to be in a leadership role. I thought that it would better me as a person and help me obtain the skills that I needed to advance later in my career. Unfortunately, this role was given to another woman, and she became a favorite of our training instructor. I remained a regular member of our troop without any exciting title or accolades.
All three of these situations were upsetting, but as I grew up and experienced different things in my life, I realized something. These people did better at these things because they needed to. If they hadn’t, I wouldn’t be on the same life journey that I am now, and they probably wouldn’t be where they are now. Success isn’t something given to one person. It is something that everyone needs to experience every once in a while. It helps give people the confidence to move forward in their paths and sometimes it shows them where their skills are necessary.
If I had been the best writer when I was a little kid or the valedictorian when I was in high school, I might not be the person that I am today, and I am happy with that person. You’re not always going to be the best at everything. If you were, then no one else would get a chance to be good at it too, and how boring would a world be where just one person won? I’m sure it would be pretty boring.
So, what I learned from this is that it is okay when someone else does better than you. They say that everyone has their fifteen minutes of fame. Maybe, that is theirs, and if it is, it is okay to be happy for them. You never know what was going on in their life before that win, and by doing well in that one area, they might be inspired to do well with the rest of their life too.