I am 70 years old and my husband passed away suddenly. I have three sons including an attorney in Chicago, a realtor in California, and a son farming with us. I have 900 acres with $1 million in debt.

Right after the funeral, we got together as a family and everyone seemed to have some ideas. My attorney son suggested we put all the land into an LLC and then pay my farming son hourly for his labor on the farm. Then he wants the profits from the farm split three ways between the boys after the LLC has paid me rent.

After my death, the LLC ownership would split three ways and continue as it is, according to his plan.

Our realtor son did not say much. The older two sons were given opportunities to farm and neither of them did, but now they act like they want to farm or at least make money from the farm.

My farming son asked about some rental and buyout provisions to protect his livelihood, but my attorney son would not commit to that provision. My husband wanted to keep the farm together for our farming son to farm.

We then talked about buyout discounts and the other two said discounting was not fair. My attorney son said everyone could make decisions together on inputs and purchases and when to sell commodities. Both of my off-farm sons indicated they would come home to help, but realistically that has not happened before and they barely make it home a few days a year. I have some real concerns with their ideas.

Sadly, my farming son said if we proceed with this arrangement, he “is out” and will not continue farming in our operation. My son is a great farmer, and I love having his family on the farm. What should I do?

 – Submitted by email from T.L.

Solution:

Unfortunately, T.L., this train got started on the wrong track. Now you do have a problem. You have described the precise recipe for how to kill a farm.

To be honest, your non-farming heirs are being selfish and greedy with these suggestions.

They had the opportunity to farm, and they didn’t take it. Now they are suggesting their brother be the hired

hand, working for a limited paycheck and splitting the farm income with them as they continue to work off the farm. The end result would be nothing short of a disaster. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Decide what you want first.

Ask yourself if your husband would have been motivated to work for his siblings while splitting farm profits with them.

2. Define what is fair. Your non-farming heirs want you and your farming son to include your income and retirement plans in their income and retirement plans! Suggest including their current salaries and retirement plans in this “whole family fun fest.” Everybody can split the combined farm and off-farm income now and in the future. Let me know how that conversation goes.

3. Get it in writing. Your farm heir needs to control the entire farming operation on a day-to-day basis now and after your death with lease and buyout agreements.

4. Put your foot down. You are on the verge of a lose-lose plan. You could lose your farm and your family. You will either make a hard decision now or fight this miserable battle every year the rest of your life. It sounds so nice to have everyone farm together, but usually that translates to greed and everyone fighting for “their” piece of the pie. Your problem will not be solved until you decide to put your foot down and say, “Don’t mess with Mama.”