“I’m 37, And I’m Beyond Over It”: Older Adults Are Revealing The Things They’re “Too Old To Deal With” Anymore
“I will never again pay to attend a concert without seats.”
It’s natural for our preferences to change as we get older. So when I asked, “What are you simply getting too old for?” a lot of people from the BuzzFeed Community had thoughts. Here’s what they had to say.
1. “I don’t do anything recreationally anymore if I’m not enjoying myself. If I’m not into a movie or show, I turn it off. If I’m not having fun at a party, I leave. I went wine tasting with friends recently when they started making fat jokes about a friend who wasn’t there, and I noped right out.”
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2. “I’m in my late 40s now, and unlike my younger self, I don’t seek out friends. If a friendship happens organically, great. If not, I don’t care how cool, rich, popular, or connected you are. I’ll be friendly to you, but if we don’t vibe, we don’t vibe. I would rather enjoy my own company and would prefer solitude to spending time with someone I find uninteresting…even if they’re very nice.”
“I’m with you. I just turned 50, and I’m fortunate enough to have a close group of friends, but even if I only had one good friend, I’d feel the same way. I also started ending friendships in my late 20s when I was the only one making any effort to maintain the friendship.”
3. “Never again will I buy a pair of jeans that do not stretch or have to be broken in for weeks to fit me. They’ll have to pry my denim-spandex pull-ons from my dying hands.”
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4. “I don’t even bother with social media. I don’t post pics of my vacation or anything else exciting going on in my life. I don’t need validation from others, as I learned a long time ago that most people don’t really care what you’re up to. It used to be a joke that the worst thing you could do was force people to sit and look at your vacation slides — I figure I’ll be the one person to give others a break from that torture. LOL.”
5. “I don’t waste my time arguing with people in traffic anymore. If you are trying to cut in aggressively, just go right ahead. Letting things like this go makes my day better, especially on my way to work.”
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6. “I’ve become aware that I’m probably on the neurodivergent spectrum, and as an over-40, I’m leaning into it. I’ve stopped doing things I hate in order to try to fit in, or carefully watch the people I’m with so I can mimic their social cues. It’s saving a ton of energy, and honestly, I quite like the me who’s emerging.”
7. “I abandoned underwire bras and bikini-cut panties in my early 40s. Even with big boobs, I can get supportive bras sans underwire. While aging has its drawbacks, there’s also a ton of benefits. I care so much less about what other people think about me. I’m focusing on accumulating a wardrobe that’s classic rather than trendy.”
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8. “If we go out of town and there’s a friend or even relative who lives there, I am NOT staying at their house. I’d rather pay for a hotel room and have the temperature the way I want it, sleep in whatever, and, most importantly, have my own bathroom.”
9. “I will never again pay to attend a concert without seats. I mean, who wants to STAND all evening to see an artist perform?! Or sit in some itchy grass? Count me completely out!”
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“Even when there are seats, there’s always that one guy who stands, then the people behind him stand, then you have to stand because you don’t wanna be weird/not see anything. So in a perfect world, yes, I would agree. LOL.”
10. “Being forced/bullied into family functions. Don’t get me wrong — I love my family/my fiancé’s family. But I want to do gingerbread houses with MY little family at HOME. Don’t expect me to show up to every gathering. We have our lives, too, outside of yours.”
11. “I don’t put up with relationship drama anymore. Any relationship where someone keeps breaking up and getting back together is exhausting, and I’m ready to pull the plug as soon as a girl I’m dating threatens it — doubly so if it’s a power move.”
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12. “I’ve never really done it, but I’m 37, and I’m beyond over people expecting me to be ‘normal.’ The rat race to a suburban hellscape: marriage, kids, house, two cars (at least one an SUV), apple pie, and white picket fences. It’s not for me and never seemed appealing. When am I going to settle down and have a family? Hopefully never. I have plans, and none of them involve those ‘ideals.'”
13. “Loud music in stores drives me up a wall. I can remember watching my mom sit outside a store waiting for me because the music was too loud.”
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14. “I really hate when family expects me to help them financially. I saved my money for my wife’s and my retirement — not to ‘lend’ to them. Your lack of planning and saving is not my problem…it is yours!”
15. “Eating foods I don’t like at gatherings because someone made it ‘just to be nice.’ No, Linda, I will not eat your broccoli-and-cheese casserole because I hate broccoli, and I’ve mentioned that to you several times. Maybe you should learn a new recipe too.”
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16. “It isn’t just music that has lowered talent requirements; it’s all entertainment areas. Theater is nonexistent; the only thing they do onstage these days is redos of past hits. Movies are mainly action, computer-driven garbage or cartoons, and TV shows are unwatchable with poor scripts. We watch English or Australian TV shows for entertainment. I don’t see this improving in the future, given the taste levels of their audiences.”
17. “I live in Wyoming, and the weather can be atrocious. I’m at an age when I refuse to risk driving in ‘possible’ bad weather or on bad roads unless it’s life and death. I used to just go and spent years with the attitude that if you worry about the weather and roads in Wyoming, you will never go anywhere. I drove on some major crappy roads, saw horrible wrecks, and got stuck for hours because most people have no idea how to drive on our roads. The weather is so weird and can change at the drop of a hat. I just absolutely refuse to risk it, ever, nowadays.”
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18. “I no longer worry about ‘Is it me? Am I the asshole?’ when dealing with a difficult person at work or school or in public. I used to think the other person was mad because of something I did or said. Now I don’t worry about it. I know I’m pleasant and polite, and if someone is being a crank, that’s on them.”
19. “This might sound curmudgeonly, but office holiday parties. I have one coming up for my husband’s work, and I find them tiresome. It’s not ‘wild’ in any sense of the word, but instead an example of forced camaraderie. I always find myself seated near the only Trump supporter in the office, and I cannot go through another round with this guy. Besides that, the conversation is forced, AND they do this thing where we’re supposed to move tables to talk with other people. Ugh!”
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20. “Theme parks and roller coasters. I loved theme parks and especially roller coaster rides in my younger days — but sometime in my mid-40s, I think I must have developed a case of acrophobia because I started having unpleasant physical reactions to roller coasters and other thrill rides. My worst experience was when I rode up in the elevator from the second level to the top of the Eiffel Tower. It’s an outside elevator, and as it got higher and higher, the worse I felt. It was all I could do to not completely freak out. What was weird was that once I got to the top (900 feet up!), I was fine, and the ride down from the top was fine also.”
21. “Honestly, lately, I haven’t been denying myself much if I can afford it and have time. Life is very short, especially when you get past the halfway point. Things I take for granted, like chocolate and coffee, aren’t going to be around much longer, and not a single thing that *I* do will change anything. So I’m gonna rage a little. Join me, won’t you?”
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Is there something you no longer want to deal with as you’ve gotten older? If so, tell us what it is in the comments below.
