It’s always nice to see a friendly face, but not when that face conceals an underlying dislike for you. Because not everyone who smiles at you has genuinely warm feelings toward you.

Some people prefer to put on an act and pretend to like you rather than risk confrontation. Worse still, there are plenty of people who use a kind and personable demeanor to manipulate others. When in doubt, look for the following behaviors which reveal a person doesn’t much care for you.

1. They give backhanded compliments.

A backhanded compliment is a compliment followed by a disqualifying statement. For example, “Hey! You look great for once! What did you do?” This isn’t a kind statement because it infers that you generally don’t look good or great at other times. A person who genuinely likes you, who is giving a sincere compliment, won’t add that disqualifying statement to make you feel bad about yourself.

2. They are too polite.

Politeness is a necessary component of socialization. After all, you’re not going to get along with everyone. However, someone who is pretending to like you and who seems to be trying too hard to be polite may be masking their dislike instead. Their politeness may feel cold or forced and their behavior can seem distant and unnatural.

3. They display inconsistent behavior.

They may treat you differently in different situations. In one situation, they may be warm and friendly, in others they may be cold and indifferent. Typically, this shift in behavior will be around different groups of people. For example, you may be friends with someone one-on-one, but they put you down or make you the butt of their jokes in a group setting. This isn’t the hallmark of a true friend.

4. They make passive-aggressive comments.

Passive-aggressive people try to hide their negativity and negative opinions behind a veil of jokes or banter. They want plausible deniability to explain away that no, they weren’t actually being mean, it was just a joke! Except it’s not a joke. Instead of making you laugh, their joke made you feel uncomfortable, confused, or bad about yourself. That’s not humor. That’s passive-aggression.

5. They gossip and spread rumors.

There’s an old saying, “If they’ll gossip with you, they’ll gossip about you.” A gossip’s friendships may be based entirely around dishing the dirt on others—that’s the primary purpose of many interactions. A gossip may be nice to you in order to learn more about you. Only, they then use that information so they can spread more gossip. These “friends” often disappear if you refuse to share the juicy details of your life. And, of course, gossips will smile to your face while talking badly about you behind your back.

6. They exclude you from group activities.

Sometimes people forget. If it happens once, then yeah, that might be an accident. But a person who genuinely doesn’t like you will “forget” or make excuses to not invite you multiple times. In that case, it’s not an accident. Either they are purposefully excluding you or you don’t mean enough to them to think about. Either way, they may be nice to your face but dislike you otherwise.

7. They avoid personal connections.

There are two ways that they may avoid personal connection. Firstly, they may keep all their conversations with you superficial. They don’t ask you personal questions about your life, and neither do they answer those you might ask about their life. The second way is they may just use you as an emotional dumping ground. They are happy to gush about their problems, but they make no space for you.

8. They lack enthusiasm for your success.

Any success, ideas, or achievements are most often met with flat emotions or passive-aggressive comments. They show little to no interest when you are sharing something that’s important to you. Apathy is just as bad as being actively disliked because it undermines your happiness and what you think is a friendship. True friends are excited, or at least interested, when you have something to share.

9. They feign support.

There are people who want to be around you to keep tabs on you, your successes, and your failures. They may want you to view them positively, so they act in a way that a friend would but without actually doing the work. Meaning, they offer to help you do the thing, but they never show up. They want to hang out with you, but they always have some reason to cancel. There are major inconsistencies in what they say and what they do.

10. They are in subtle competition with you.

Competition can be good and healthy. However, the person who secretly dislikes you doesn’t want healthy competition. Instead, they may chase after the things you wish to have/acheive or engage in games of one-upmanship when you do something good for yourself. They may even try to take your goals away from you, like applying for a job that they know you want without bothering to tell you.