I’m a woman and I’ll be 30 next year. I’m not experienced in dating. I’d like a boyfriend, but I’m not having luck with the dating apps. The men just want sex. I have been scammed, too.
One story involves a guy who met me at a local mall. He did not look anything like his profile picture. I’d like a significant other who isn’t only seeking sex. How can I do a better job of finding the right people on an app?
– The Apps
I wish I had a magic answer for finding the best needles in haystacks. There are zillions of people on apps. Only some will be right for you.
You could try platforms that limit your options. An app like Coffee Meets Bagel offers its own formula for less matches, but hopefully better ones. eharmony has always tried to draw users who want to put in more effort.
I can’t say if any of these apps are better than the next. I do think there’s some luck involved. All I know is that some platforms are more appealing to one person than the next. If you’re not having success with one, try another.
Also consider adding a step between messages and a date. A FaceTime works. Anything that allows you to see who someone is – and how they smile and sound – before you get to that mall. I do think it’s a time saver. You can learn a lot about a person through a five-minute conversation.
Outside of app, ask friends for setups. Also have those friends read your profile and give notes. It’s possible you’re not being clear enough about what you seek.
– Meredith
Readers? Tips for navigating apps? Any secrets?
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