My evil ex called me 50 times per HOUR & tracked my every move – his controlling ways left me with PTSD
SCROLLING aimlessly through Instagram, Laura Rozario, 40, was surprised when a friendly message popped up from an old friend.
It was from Nathan Beck, 29, who was 11 years her junior, and a man she’d known all his life.
Mum-of-four Laura admits she was flattered – especially because she was single after having just come out of a long-term marriage.
Laura says: “I’d known Nathan on and off for his whole life because our families had been really friendly. It was nice to receive a message from an old friend.”
Laura had just returned to Wales after living in Australia following her marriage ending when Nathan started to message her on social media.
“He complimented me on one of my tattoos and we began chatting away and talking about our families,” Laura says.
“Nathan told me he was single. His life sounded really chaotic as he was always out partying. I was in a good place and had just bought a fish and chip shop and so was busy running that and looking after my children.”
He tracked my every move and demanded to know why I’d even driven a certain way to work. Sometimes he’d turn up at my work to check I was actually there.
Laura Rozario
“His messages became more and more intense over a short period, with him liking all my posts. He got very flirty but I had no interest in getting involved at that point – my life was great and I was put off by the age gap.”
But Nathan didn’t give up easily and now Laura believes he “love-bombed” and bombarded her with compliments and begged her for a date.
“I was flattered but I brushed off Nathan’s advances,” Laura says.
“He was 11 years younger than me for starters. I didn’t think it was a good idea. I told him we should just be friends but flooded me with relentless compliments, saying how beautiful I was and how he loved my laugh, and wouldn’t give up.”
She says due to his constant pursuit of her and the fact that he made her “giggle like a teenager” she found herself relenting and agreeing to a date to a local carvery.
Record number of incidents reported against women and girls
“He treated me like a goddess at first and told me how beautiful I was,” Laura says.
“He was loving and attentive and for the first time in a long time I got butterflies in my stomach.”
Within weeks Nathan and Laura became a couple.
But it wasn’t long before Nathan’s charming ways took a sinister turn.
One day Nathan called me 50 times in an hour to see where I was.
Laura Rozario
Laura had downloaded a tracker app – Life360 – to keep an eye on her son but it soon turned into a “prison” for her when Nathan downloaded the app too and began keeping tabs on her every move.
It was something they’d discussed together and was called ‘Beck Family Circle’. Everyone downloaded it on their phones and at that point Laura thought it was just a clever way to find out where her son was.
“But one day Nathan called me 50 times in an hour to see where I was,” Laura says.
“He tracked my every move and demanded to know why I’d even driven a certain way to work. Sometimes he’d turn up at my work to check I was actually there.”
Laura says the control escalated and if she went to Asda supermarket Nathan would call her and ask her why she was so long in the shop and sometimes she’d have to video call him to prove she was there.
Laura also suffers from Obstructive Sleep Apnea and uses a CPAP machine when she sleeps.
“Nathan would drink into oblivion sometimes and be very nasty and abusive,” she says. “He warned me I’d better be careful he didn’t cut the pipes when I was asleep. I was truly terrified of him.”
Laura says he also controlled everything she wore.
“I couldn’t wear anything with spaghetti straps or above the knee. He would just go absolutely crazy. In the end I just gave in and would change to save an argument,” Laura says.
Her victim impact statement
This has taken a massive toll on my mental health. I have suffered nightmares, flashbacks and even started bed wetting when the nightmares are so real. I know now that this is a response to trauma. I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD and I have been put on anxiety and sleeping medication.
I also had to move address and children’s schools for our safety. As a single mother with little support, this only added to the stress. Most of my life I have been confident and bubbly but I feel he has stolen who I was. Even though I know he is remanded I still feel very unsafe in my home. I rarely leave the house. I find it difficult to socialise.
I found my job very difficult and my quality of work was slipping so without much care about consequence, I quit. I don’t seem to care how I’m presented anymore when I would always take good care of my appearance. I’m just struggling to process how a strong willed woman could let someone hurt and abuse me when he claimed to love me so much.
I was terrified a lot of the time when I was with Nathan, scared to say the wrong thing or look at anything but the floor in case it triggered him. I dreaded the weekends most when I knew he would be drinking. I was isolated from my family and friends and I still feel disconnected to them out of shame.
I constantly feel alone. He made me feel worthless and destroyed every bit of confidence I had.
Nathan didn’t have regular, steady employment for the majority of our relationship and other than his universal credit. I was the supplier of everything. I was the taxi and then waited for the abuse.
He smoked tobacco, would only wear name brand clothing and I would fund all that as well as his basic needs. He has left me so traumatised and financially unstable that I was behind on my rent and all my bills. For the first time in my life I pawned a significant jewellery collection just to make ends meet whilst with him.
Nathan would often read messages on my phone and read messages between myself and my family. This isolated me further as I was fearful to write to them to let them know how things really were. I masked a lot. Afraid they would judge or get involved and jeopardise themselves or make matters worse for me. They were very worried.
I just thought if he surrounded himself with good people he would change and I could save him from himself. He had this way of learning people’s weaknesses then using them against them for his benefit. Having absolutely zero integrity he would threaten to expose personal information as a way of controlling the situation or causing fear.
I have four amazing children and have been a mother for 24 years. I’d like to think I did a good job raising them.
He made me question myself and everything I was about. He would always make me feel sorry for him telling me that I was all that he had left. Because of him I don’t trust anyone anymore. He told me a lot that I was his. I belong to him and that we would be together forever. I’m not sure how much of those feelings I actually had or because he told me to have them.
I feel guilty about his imprisonment, like I failed him. Yet I dread his release in fear he will come for me and hurt me because in his words I grassed on him. Being with him on and off for 18 months has had a catastrophic effect on my whole life. It has changed me as a person.
The control started pretty much straight away looking back but I didn’t see it then. I knew it was really bad when he started telling me that I couldn’t wear certain clothes or go to certain places. Because of his past he was paranoid about certain people and was uncontrollably jealous.
We had a life 360 app. Initially I didn’t see an issue until it became a tool to monitor and control me. As well as this he would request me to videocall him to prove my whereabouts and that I wasn’t with anyone.
Nathan wasn’t an alcoholic as such but when he did drink which was Friday Saturday it would be everything he could get his hands on and drink to oblivion. He could be fine, drunk one minute laughing, singing, dancing then just flip out he would call me a slag rat c**t often.
He would be so paranoid, jealous…and there was no reason to be. He would call me the worst names and would make me feel utterly worthless.
Anyway I could keep talking about so many different instances. I live in fear now constantly. I’m afraid all the time. Of everything. And I dread the day he is a free man.
I don’t feel I will ever be free. Always looking over my shoulder.
He didn’t have regular, steady employment for the majority of our relationship and other than his universal credit Laura was the supplier of everything, although he didn’t move in..
Laura ended the relationship with him after she claimed she found out he had been unfaithful by sending intimate photos and videos to another woman 18 months into the relationship
Although she firmly told him the relationship was over he continued to harass her. She says he sat outside her house and follow her around.
Laura called the police who referred her case to the CPS and Beck was arrested and remanded.
Finally, on July 4, 2024, at Newport Crown Court Nathan Beck was sentenced to 31 months and 30 days for controlling and coercive behaviour for the torment he had subjected Laura to.
Despite being given a custodial sentence, Laura said the relationship has changed her life and left her with serious mental health problems.
HOW YOU CAN GET HELP:
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
She said she has been diagnosed with complex PTSD, struggled to sleep, had left her job and moved house as a result.
She said she now “lives in fear constantly” and feels “unsafe” in her own home. She has been forced to move house and change her children’s schools in order to escape him
“What Nathan did has taken a massive toll on my mental health. He turned my life upside down. I have suffered nightmares, flashbacks and even started bed wetting. I know now that this is a response to trauma,” Laura says.
“I am a wreck. I’ve got window alarms, door alarms, on the 999 critical list for fire and police. Even though he doesn’t know where I live, I live in constant fear of him.
I am a wreck. I’ve got window alarms, door alarms, on the 999 critical list for fire and police. Even though he doesn’t know where I live, I live in constant fear of him.
Laura Rozario
“I’ve never experienced anything like it. I shudder when I think back at what I put up with. Nathan would say ‘You’re mine. You’re mine forever.
“It was so hard to get away from him. I loved him and wanted to save. But it was impossible and in the end I had to save myself.
“My saving grace is that I’ve met someone new – a lovely woman called Sarah who has supported me throughout Nathan’s trial. She’s so kind and gentle and she makes me feel safe and loved.
“I am telling my story to raise awareness of coercive control and hope my story will help others.
“Nathan love-bombed me and showered me with compliments and I fell for him but he brought nothing but chaos to my life. I’m just so grateful I got away from him.”
