It’s easy to spot a selfish person by their instinctive reactions to things.
The way a person instantly responds to a question or situation will tell you a lot about them. Those who are particularly selfish will display the following involuntary behaviors as immediate reactions, rather than thought-out responses.
1. Annoyance and resentment at others’ needs.
This behavior can manifest toward someone’s friends, colleagues, partner, or even children and pets. If the selfish person is doing something they enjoy, but someone else needs food, medical attention, or even basic help, they’ll see it as a massive demand on their personal time and energy and get resentful about it.
2. They’re prone to interrupt people or finish their sentences.
If someone doesn’t get to the point quickly enough for the selfish person’s liking, or is talking about something they aren’t particularly interested in, they’ll simply interrupt the other person or forcibly take over the conversation to end it. That way, they’re free to move along to the next thing.
3. Rushing others.
In addition to rushing someone through what they’re saying so they can get on to what they’d rather do, they’ll also rush them when they’re getting ready, shopping at a store, and so on. It doesn’t matter if the other person isn’t ready to go yet: they are, and that’s all that matters.
4. Ingratitude.
They may not say “thank you” when they’re given food or drink by a companion, or if someone else gives them a gift. They have a startling sense of entitlement, and take these kind gestures as a given, rather than a privilege or kindness from someone who cares about them.
5. Making decisions without asking anyone else’s input.
If your boss offers to get lunch for everyone at the office, they’ll put in a pizza order on everyone’s behalf without asking about preferences, allergies, and so on. They want pizza, so they just assume that everyone else will too, and they don’t care whether others want it or not.
6. Not sharing resources, especially in difficult or crisis situations.
If a crisis situation arises, they’ll hoard resources for themselves without considering that others might need those things too. All that matters to them is ensuring that they have what they need, and they aren’t likely to share any of it: if others are starving or dehydrated, that’s too bad.
7. Lack of basic manners.
They might send a work email or delegate a task without basic courtesies like a “please” or “thank you”. The same thing happens when they’re being served at a cafe or restaurant: they’re receiving what they wanted, and they see no need to offer thanks or gratitude for it.
8. Decisions and plans are made based on what benefits them the most.
Every action they take has the ulterior motive of personal benefit. If you invite them to your birthday party, they’ll immediately ask if their crush is going to be there, rather than acknowledging that the event is to celebrate you. If they won’t benefit from going somehow, they won’t attend.
9. Showing a lack of empathy for others’ struggles.
When something unpleasant or difficult happens to them, it’s the end of the world and they want everyone around them to offer comfort or support. In contrast, if something bad happens to someone else, they’ll tell them to get over it, or that it’s nothing compared to what they’re going through.
10. Avoidance of responsibility.
If they don’t feel like doing something—because it bores them or they don’t want the burden—they’ll find a way to avoid it or palm it off on someone else. This is often an involuntary reaction in which their response to being approached about said responsibility is an instant “no”.
11. Everything is someone else’s fault.
They’ll indulge their own whims as they see fit, and when there are consequences to their choices, they sincerely feel that they’ve done no wrong. For instance, if they’ve been drinking heavily for days and are threatened with eviction for not paying rent, then it’s simply because the landlord hates them.
12. They have to be first in line (or as close to it as possible).
These people will shove kids out of the way when the ice cream truck arrives and will push past disabled and elderly passengers to get off the plane the second the doors open. It really doesn’t matter to them who got where first: they’ll take that position by any means necessary.